September 30th, 2009

Please be praying for me. Last week I was struck instantly with a horrible flu and was quarentined for days until the fever broke. Then just as I was beginning to recoupe from the flu I noticed some discoloration on my reconstructed breast. It looks like I have some sort of infection, possibly of the implant itself. My doctor put me on antibiotics right away but this morning I noticed that despite the antibiotics the breast is swelling considerably. I'm heading back to the doctor in the next little bit. I'm in quite a bit of pain and am worried that I will have to have the implant removed. I'm worn out and don't have a lot of fight in me today. I'm discouraged beyond words and have been crying a lot. I keep clinging to the fact that when I am weak, He is strong. Jesus will pull me through this too, I'm sure of it...and today the only energy I have I'm using to believe Him for this and I'm letting Him do the rest. Please pray!

September 19th 2009

I'm too tired to write anything...it's been a busy busy day! But here are some random pictures from this years neighbornood garage sale. It was a blast, and when all was said and done...the kids' concessions stand made more money than anybody else!

Race for The Cure 2009 - September 19, 2009

Today Christlyn and I got up way before the sun was even thinking about rising, and headed out to the 2009 Race for The Cure. My very first race as a survivor!!! Now, I'm not what you would call a morning person, in fact I would be perfectly happy if morning just didn't exist and the day began around 11:00 or 11:30. But there was nothing in the world that was keeping me from celebrating this milestone...not even the warmth of my bed on this cool fall morning. So off we went, in the dark, to the race. I was surprised at how many people were already there at 6:30am. The survivor tent was packed and the energy of all the people celebrating life was amazing! I met a woman who is 43 year survivor...wow, God is so good! That was what I needed because recently I've been worried that I would never live to be "old". Meeting and talking with her (86yrs old) and hearing her story and how healthy she's been since beating her cancer gave me hope that this diagnosis doesn't mean that I'll have a shorter life span! Christlyn and I enjoyed a Delicious Panera bagel (cinnamon crunch...my favorite) and fruit before heading off to get our pictures taken in the survivor photo booth. After posing for our portraits I took Christlyn around and introduced her to some of my doctors/nurses that were there manning booths. It was really neat for me to get to introduce Christlyn to them...so that they know who and why I'm fighting, so they have a name and a face to my children not just my file that says I have kids. And I got one surprise greeting from a woman in a pink wig...she came up and gave me a huge hug and called me by name and I was at a complete loss for who she was...come to find out she was a nurse at one of my surgeon's offices who I didn't even know had had breast cancer. I have to say the pink wig was so different from her dark brown hair and reserved personality that I don't feel too bad I didn't recognize her...and we got a good laugh about it! We had a wonderful time and Christlyn has already said she wants to come with me every year...I think she just liked getting all the free goodies handed to her! God is so very good...he's healed me and strengthened me in ways I never thought possible. Today is a celebration of that and his healing power!

Mom's "21st" Birthday! - September 18th, 2009

Despite a very busy week and weekend we took time out Friday night to celebrate Mom's Birthday! And what better way to celebrate than a "Girls Night Out"!

We were all so excited that mom's sister was able to come in and celebrate with us! Yeah Aunt Christy you ROCK! What a great sister!!!

Even Kathryn joined us Via the cell phone to get in on the girl talk and wish mom a happy birthday!

We treated ourselves to Tei Kei's...one of our favorite Chinese/Sushi restaurants! And while Mom and Jennifer stayed with their favorite tried and true dishes...Aunt Christy and I ordered new dishes. Let's just say that their Kung Pao Chicken is a winner and I'll definitely be getting it again!

After stuffing ourselves at Tei Kei's and talking ourselves hoarse we moved on to the Cheescake Factory for dessert! MMMM...Cheesecake!

(the two Breast Cancer Survivors...whoo hooo)

They decorated mom's cheesecake plate with chocolate to say Happy Birthday and then the waitress announced to everyone that we were there celebrating mom's 21st birthday and everyone sang to her...(that's what she gets for always having them embarrass me like that when I was a kid).

Make a Wish!!!

I'M A SURVIVOR!!!

This morning I drove down to St. Johns to pick up my Race for the Cure packet, and inside was the most beautiful pink T-shirt in the world...my 'SURVIVOR' shirt! I did my best to make it to the car without crying, but once inside the tears couldn't be held back. I'm a survivor! I made it! This past year has been grueling at best but God's faithfulness has known no bounds. And now here I am donning my medal of honor, this pink shirt, gearing up for my first Race for the Cure as a survivor! Silly I know, but and triumphant landmark for me and a testament of God's faithfulness in the life of someone so common as me. I'M A SURVIVOR!!!

September 3, 2009

Tuesday was the moment of truth for me...I had a PET/CT Scan to look for cancer cells in my body, head to toe! I wrestled with the anxiety and fears that have been my constant companions the last month and a half as I faced my third scan in a years time. I tried to bribe the tech to give me my results right then but he wouldn't give in and I had to wait until yesterday afternoon to talk with my doctors office. The good news is that the areas I was concerned about and having symptoms (bone aches in my wrist and elbow) was clean and clear! The non-conclusive news is that there was a lymphnode in/by my nose that showed up reactive. My doctor figured it was just a runny nose and so she wasn't worried about it. But I don't have a runny nose...so I'm still waiting to see if she wants to do any more tests. She said that this is not a common area where they see recurrence and not to worry but that we'd keep an eye on it. Dorian being the jokester that he is, and obviously a little bitter about the medical communities approach of treating cancer by cutting stuff off, asked if it was cancer if they'd have to cut my nose off too. I asked him if he'd love me anyway and he said yes...so we're okay either way now. But I was a little discouraged that the scan wasn't 100% clean...I thought thats what I needed to reclaim my peace of mind. But tests don't bring peace...only the Lord can. So I'm continuing to push into him...For he who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust'.