Sometimes I feel like I’m suppose to have it all figured out. That since I faced death and was spared that I’m suppose to wake up each day with some special purpose. And have an unquenchable zeal to accomplish that purpose. But every day I wake up overwhelmed by the same world every other mom does. With breakfast and lunches to be made, kids to get dressed for school, backpacks to pack, homework to check, a messy house, piles of laundry, stacks of bills, I could go on and on but you get the point. I wonder if what I do even makes a difference, if I’m really impacting the world for Christ, if there is something more I should be doing. I feel guilty that I’m not more involved with ministries at church or taking my children on community outreach projects. Overall I feel ineffective and then guilty for not having the energy to do more.
But then there are these little nuggets, chunks of days, moments really when I realize that I’m right where I’m suppose to be, doing exactly what I was called to do. A simple prayer by one of the kids, an extra big hug, or the sight of my six year old curled up on the couch with his bible and a highlighter searching for verses he wants to memorize. It’s then I know I’m doing something right. I know that in God’s gracious love I was given more time to be a mom, to lead these three amazing children to the foot of the cross.
It’s sometimes difficult to accept God’s call on our lives if it’s not spectacular. If I don’t start a food pantry, move overseas, teach Sunday school, volunteer at rehabs centers, or take in foster kids then I’m not doing God’s will. But for this season at least that’s not what God wants from me or for me. He’s got me here, in the middle of the mundane, to disciple these three amazing children. It’s here really, in the everyday, that we fulfill God’s will for our lives…to live for Him and serve Him in all we do. Then, if and when He calls us to something bigger, we’re already practiced in saying yes to Him, in doing His will, and in drawing strength from Him.